The Worst Albums of 1979

Elton John : Victim of Love

[Purchase]

Victim of Love, Elton John's disco album, is the runaway winner as the worst album of 1979. In year two of his retirement from performing and writing songs with Bernie Taupin, a coked-up Elton John let disco producer Peter Bellotte handle the songwriting and the sessions. Elton didn't even play any of the instrumentation. 

The reviews were harsh including this one in Rolling Stone.

In his very enjoyable memoir Me, which I'm currently reading , Elton concedes he made the album to fulfill an obligation to his American label:

Not everything on Victim of Love was terrible--if the title track had come on at Studio 54, I'd have danced to it--but making an album in bad faith like that is never a good idea. No matter how you do it, it somehow gets into the music: you can just tell it's not coming from an honest place.

OTHER MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENTS:

Beach Boys : Here Comes the Night

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The Beach Boys flirted with disco on L.A. (Light Album),  their first album for CBS Records. Rolling Stone critic Dave Marsh called it "worse than awful. It is irrelevant".  

Aretha Franklin :  Ladies Only

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In which the Queen of Soul gets blind-sided by the lights of the disco club. (Note the trend here?) Produced by Van McCoy, La Diva is the lowest charting and poorest selling album of Aretha's entire Atlantic Records catalogue.

Zon : Circus

[Purchase]

Alright here's an album that doesn't involve a well known band trying to make a disco record one year late. The Canadian rock group Zon was too busy trying to sounds like a mediocre version of Styx. So you can imagine...

Neil Diamond : I'm a Believer

[Purchase]

Tossed in this particular bin because of the reggae version of "I'm a Believer". Sacrilege! 

The Alan Parson Project : Damned If I Do

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I was a big fan of I Robot but Eve is horrible. Robert Christgau gave the album a grade of D writing: 

Musically, this is a step toward schlock that knows its name--a few smarmy melodies mixed in with the production values and synthesizer furbelows. Thematically, it's both sophomoric and disgusting--programmatic misogyny rooted in sexual rejections that were clearly deserved. Visually, it's sadistic--the three women on the Hipgnosis cover wear black veils that only partly conceal their scars, warts and blotches. What is it they stencil on street corners? Castrate art rockers?

More horrible disco albums:

Tina Turner's Love Explosion

Cher 's Take Me Home

And Various Artists Mickey Mouse Disco

She Who Laughs Last

Cher : Holdin' Out For Love

[Purchase]

On November 3, 1979 Billboard Magazine published a full page ad featuring Cher wearing nothing but chains to promote her new album The Prisoner. When I tweeted this picture yesterday, I didn't expect much reaction but I soon got one from Cher herself:

Just thought I'd share this moment brought to you via social media. It's not all divisive politics. Sometimes it's random encounters with goddesses.

U.S. Top 20 April 14, 1979

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The Doobie Brothers : What a Fool Believes

[Purchase]

On April 14, 1979 The Doobie Brothers returned to the top of the U.S. Hot 100 charts for the first time since in five years when "Black Water" hit number one. Beneath them, a buttload of disco from Gloria Gaynor, Amii Stewart, Wings, Cher,  The Jacksons and Rod Stewart and some easy listening tunes by Anne Murray, Little River Band and Frank Mills who recorded "Music Box Dancer" five years earlier.

1 2 WHAT A FOOL BELIEVES –•– The Doobie Brothers (Warner Brothers)-13 (1 week at #1) (1) 

2 1 I WILL SURVIVE –•– Gloria Gaynor (Polydor)-18 (1) 

3 7 KNOCK ON WOOD –•– Amii Stewart (Ariola America)-12 (3) 

4 4 SULTANS OF SWING –•– Dire Straits (Warner Brothers)-10 (4) 

5 6 MUSIC BOX DANCER –•– Frank Mills (Polydor)-12 (5) 

6 3 TRAGEDY –•– Bee Gees (RSO)-10 (1) 

7 15 REUNITED –•– Peaches and Herb (Polydor)-5 (7) 

8 9 HEART OF GLASS –•– Blondie (Chrysalis)-9 (8) 

9 11 STUMBLIN’ IN –•– Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman (RSO)-12 (9) 

10 10 LADY –•– Little River Band (Harvest)-15 (10) 

 11 13 I WANT YOUR LOVE –•– Chic (Atlantic)-10 (11) 

12 12 I JUST FALL IN LOVE AGAIN –•– Anne Murray (Capitol)-12 (12) 

13 16 GOODNIGHT TONIGHT –•– Wings (Columbia)-3 (13) 

14 21 IN THE NAVY –•– The Village People (Casablanca)-5 (14) 

15 19 HE’S THE GREATEST DANCER –•– Sister Sledge (Cotillion)-10 (15) 

16 17 LIVIN’ IT UP (Friday Night) –•– Bell and James (A+M)-12 (16) 

17 20 TAKE ME HOME –•– Cher (Casablanca)-10 (17) 

18 5 SHAKE YOUR GROOVE THING –•– Peaches and Herb (Polydor)-17 (5) 

19 8 DA YA THINK I’M SEXY? –•– Rod Stewart (Warner Brothers)-17 (1) 

20 30 SHAKE YOUR BODY (Down To the Ground) –•– The Jacksons (Epic)-9 (20)

And entering the charts at #88:

40 Year Itch : The End of Sonny And Cher

   On this day in history 1974, Cher divorced Sonny Bono. Four days later, she married guitarist Gregg Allman... only to file for divorce from him just nine days later. They actually stayed married for three years producing a child,  Elijah Blue Allman. In a statement released to the press, Cher said: "I've always believed it best to admit one's mistakes as quickly as possible." Read this earlier post for more on the turmoil in Cher's life

40 Year Itch : How Geffen Signed Dylan

   On January 17, 1974 David Geffen's Asylum Records released two of the year's biggest albums on the same day: Joni Mitchell's Court and Spark and Bob Dylan's Planet Waves. While the albums got the lion's share of the publicity, it was also a coming out party of sorts for the 30 year old millionaire record exec. Not his official "coming out", of course, as he was dating Cher. 

  "I was the first person to share his bed and to share his life," she says in Tom King's book about Geffen, The Operator. "People don't believe that, or they don't want to believe it, or they don't understand how it could be. But we were really crazy about each other."

  They dated for two years. Geffen's contract with Dylan, perhaps his greatest achievement as a record exec,  lasted just about a year. The only year Dylan hasn't been associated with Columbia Records in more than 40 years of recording. So how did Geffen lure Dylan away?

   He began by approaching Robbie Robertson of The Band, a group in such desperate need of inspiration they had just released an album of cover songs ( the poor selling Moondog Matinee). Waving a recording contract in front of Robertson's face, Geffen suggested he get The Band back together with Dylan and hit the road like they did in '66. It would be the biggest concert tour of the year!

   With no manager to play interference,  Dylan met with Geffen whose talk about the tour soon veered to talk about an album. After all , you don't go on tour unless you have an album to sell. And because Geffen was putting together the tour, why shouldn't Dylan, whose contract was up for renewal with CBS/Columbia at the time,  leave his old label and record  for Asylum? Geffen sealed the deal with a huge promise: he'd make sure Dylan's next album sold a million copies, would hit #1,  and return Dylan to superstar status. He also threw Dylan a bone: Bob could sign artists to his own Asylum imprint, Ashes and Sands.

   With the contract signed, Dylan and The Band went to work recording the next album ,  in three November days. They had to rush the album, to be called Ceremonies of the Horsemen, to meet the deadline for the January tour. So rushed was the effort, Dylan could never choose which version of "Forever Young" he wanted: the slow, preachy five minute version or the jaunty, tossed off three minute version. So they pressed both on the album that was retitled Planet Waves.

  A word about Planet Waves: half of it's great. "On a Night Like This", "Tough Mama", "Something There Is About You" and "You Angel You" are my favorite tunes and rank right up there with the best of New Morning and Blood On The Tracks. Dylan and The Band sound great together. But I could never stand "Forever Young". "Dirge" and "Wedding Song" are tiresome to these ears.

    As Geffen had promised, sales were brisk right out of the gate.  Planet Waves was shipped Gold and debuted on Billboard's  February 9, 1974 Top LP's and Tapes Chart at #19, 16 spots ahead of Court and Spark. The following week, Planet Waves would top the album charts. Such was the euphoria surrounding Dylan and The Band's 40-date, 21-city tour of the US. And yet the album only sold a disappointing 600,000 copies. Part of the blame belongs to Dylan himself, who decided not to play many if any of his new songs on the tour. By the end, only "Forever Young" remained. 

     Asylum would release the live album that followed the tour, Before the Flood, but Dylan raced back to Columbia. Planet Waves had come out strong but by year's end both Asylum albums Court and Spark and Carly Simon's Hotcakes had outsold it.
     Also Dylan simply didn't like Geffen.
     "He thought Geffen was just interested in being a celebrity," a source told Rolling Stone.Plus Dylan signed a deal with Columbia that  reportedly paid him sixty cents a record more than Asylum and gave him a new, improved royalty on his back catalog.  

Footnote: 13 year later Robbie Robertson released a critically acclaimed eponymous album on Geffen records.

40 Year Itch : Dark Lady Played Back Magic

On January 16, 1974 Cher performed "Dark Lady: on The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. After "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves " ( #1,1971)  and " Half Breed" (#1, 1973) ,  "Dark Lady" would be the last of her trio of #1 smash hits. Written by Venture keyboardist  John  Durrill, "Dark Lady" sold more than a million copies in the US and proved to be Cher"s last Top 40 hit in the UK for ten years.

On Febuary 13, 1974, The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour showed an animated version of Cher's "Dark Lady".

   Was it too many short jokes? Now romantically involved with millionaire rock exec David Geffen, Cher decided to call it quits on  The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. In his book The Operator, Tom King relates a tense rehearsal in January of 1974:

A skit in one of their final shows had Cher playing Mother Nature standing atop a mountain. Sonny played a seeker of truth, struggling to climb to the peak. "Mother Nature, what is the secret of life?" Sonny asked. 

 "Go fuck yourself," Cher snarled, not missing a beat. 

 Nobody laughed. "Can we try it again?" the director asked. 

 "Not without lawyers," Bono muttered. 

  Things would only get uglier. In her divorce papers, Cher charged Sonny with "involuntary servitude" and "unlawfully" dominating and controlling her business interests and career. Bono countersued Cher for $14 million for damages in future revenue. Bono then sued Geffen for $13 million in papers that charged him with interfering in a contractual relationship Cher Enterprises, the company he owned, and  his wife. Bono also sought a temporary restraining order against Geffen. These were heady times for Geffen, as we'll see when we scratch the 40 year itch of January 17, 1974.

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40 Year Itch : Half Breed Hits #1

On the week ending October 6, 1973 Cher topped the Billboard charts with "Half Breed", a song written to play up Cher's mixed heritage, which includes some Native American roots. Like her other #1 single, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves", also produced by Snuff Gordon,  the song is a story about a girl shunned because of her heritage.

For the song's TV debut on The Sonny and Cher Show ( still going strong despite the couple's break-up), Bob Mackie designed one of his most famous costumes-- a headdress decked out in feathers,  a sequined halter top and a loin cloth that  reached down to her platform shoes. Mark Bego writes in Cher: If You Believe, of the star's first reaction to the costume:

I remember when I first got that (outfit) I thought 'Oh my God, Sonny's going to have a heart attack when I walk out in this !' It looked like I was naked and he was always a little bizarre about that. But he saw me in it and he was OK with it".

A lot of people have been OK with it.

At a recent Experience Music Project exhibit on Women In Rock, I came across the Mackie designed costume. Not something I'd feel comfortable wearing myself.

Top 5 Singles in the Billboard Hot 100 October 6, 1973

1 Cher "Half Breed"
2 Paul Simon "Loves Me Like A Rock"
3 Marvin Gaye "Let's Get It On"
4 Grand Funk Railroad "We're An American Band"
5 Stevie Wonder "Higher Ground"