The Worst Albums of 1979

Elton John : Victim of Love

[Purchase]

Victim of Love, Elton John's disco album, is the runaway winner as the worst album of 1979. In year two of his retirement from performing and writing songs with Bernie Taupin, a coked-up Elton John let disco producer Peter Bellotte handle the songwriting and the sessions. Elton didn't even play any of the instrumentation. 

The reviews were harsh including this one in Rolling Stone.

In his very enjoyable memoir Me, which I'm currently reading , Elton concedes he made the album to fulfill an obligation to his American label:

Not everything on Victim of Love was terrible--if the title track had come on at Studio 54, I'd have danced to it--but making an album in bad faith like that is never a good idea. No matter how you do it, it somehow gets into the music: you can just tell it's not coming from an honest place.

OTHER MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENTS:

Beach Boys : Here Comes the Night

[Purchase]

The Beach Boys flirted with disco on L.A. (Light Album),  their first album for CBS Records. Rolling Stone critic Dave Marsh called it "worse than awful. It is irrelevant".  

Aretha Franklin :  Ladies Only

[Purchase]

In which the Queen of Soul gets blind-sided by the lights of the disco club. (Note the trend here?) Produced by Van McCoy, La Diva is the lowest charting and poorest selling album of Aretha's entire Atlantic Records catalogue.

Zon : Circus

[Purchase]

Alright here's an album that doesn't involve a well known band trying to make a disco record one year late. The Canadian rock group Zon was too busy trying to sounds like a mediocre version of Styx. So you can imagine...

Neil Diamond : I'm a Believer

[Purchase]

Tossed in this particular bin because of the reggae version of "I'm a Believer". Sacrilege! 

The Alan Parson Project : Damned If I Do

[Purchase]

I was a big fan of I Robot but Eve is horrible. Robert Christgau gave the album a grade of D writing: 

Musically, this is a step toward schlock that knows its name--a few smarmy melodies mixed in with the production values and synthesizer furbelows. Thematically, it's both sophomoric and disgusting--programmatic misogyny rooted in sexual rejections that were clearly deserved. Visually, it's sadistic--the three women on the Hipgnosis cover wear black veils that only partly conceal their scars, warts and blotches. What is it they stencil on street corners? Castrate art rockers?

More horrible disco albums:

Tina Turner's Love Explosion

Cher 's Take Me Home

And Various Artists Mickey Mouse Disco

The Beach Boys Disco Stumble

The Beach Boys : Here Comes The Night

[Purchase]

On March 23, 1979 The Beach Boys released a nearly 11-minute disco version of "Here Comes the Night" as a single from their new album L.A. (Light Album). You can still find some fans who have something nice to say about the album ( after all Dennis Wilson sings on two songs), but most agree Rolling Stone critic Dave Marsh who concluded the album "is worse than awful. It is irrelevant".

 That's part of what makes the band's attempt to recast this Wild Honey deep cut into a a dance floor filler such an awful concept and creation.  Apparently both Brian and Dennis weren't happy with the decision, and I'm not sure how those two get overruled, but here's proof: the worst moment in the entire Beach Boys catalog. And it fell only four places short of the U.S. Top 40, peaking at U.S. #44.

The original.

The Worst Albums of 1978

The death knell of progressive rock, Emerson Lake and Palmer's contractual obligation album Love Beach features "Taste Of My Love", maybe the worst song about groupie sex ever.

Call up Room Service for some peaches and cream, 

I like my dessert first if you know what I mean' 

And in case you don't what Greg Lake  means ( courtesy of Pete Sinfield) he adds

Climb on my rocket And we'll fly

The recording sessions were contentious even though the trio spent the entire time in The Bahamas. If you think the album cover is bad, wait until you drop needle to record. Rolling Stone critic Michael Bloom wrote "Love Beach isn't simply bad; it's downright pathetic. Stale and full of ennui, this album makes washing the dishes seem a more creative act by comparison".

Two million people bought the soundtrack to the god awful 1978 movie, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. While the Aerosmith version of The Beatles' "Come Together" and Earth Wind and Fire's "Got To Get You Into My Life" are fine, everybody else associated with this project lost face, especially Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees. who were on the most stunning of streaks at the time.

Robin Gibb certainly didn't help matters by boasting "There is no such thing as the Beatles now. They don't exist as a band and never performed Sgt Pepper live in any case. When ours comes out, it will be, in effect, as if theirs never existed." 

The bully of The Beach Boys, Mike Love, somehow convinced Brian Wilson and Al Jardine to show up at the Maharishi International University in Fairfield, Iowa,  where they recorded the worst album in Beach Boys history. Dennis Wilson and his brother Carl wanted nothing to do with the record.

 In fact, When asked about M.I.U. Album in the British press, Dennis Wilson said that he "[doesn't] believe in that album" and that it was "an embarrassment to my life. It should self-destruct... I hope that the karma will fuck up Mike Love's meditation forever." Brian Wilson says he doesn't remember making the album, claiming a "mental black out" during the period.

On September 18, 1978 all four members of KISS released solo albums. Drummer Peter Criss, relying on songs from his pre-Kiss band, Lips, fared the worst critically and commercially but still sold a million copies. 

Noted only for the cocaine song, "That's the Kind of Sugar Papa Likes".

With help from the likes of Aerosmith's Joe Perry, Bob Seger, Cheap Trick's Rick Nielsen, Donna Summer and Cher, Gene Simmons' solo album is actually pretty entertaining for a complete cluster fuck, highlighted ( or low-lighted)  by a straight reading of the Disney classic "When You Wish Upon a Star".

40 Year Itch : A Song from the Moon

    In October of 1974, MCA Records released Keith Moon's "first and greatest single", a cover of the Beach Boys's "Don't Worry Baby". With the help of Flo and Eddie ( The Turtles)  and John Sebastian (The Lovin' Spoonful), Keith Moon recorded what has often been described as his favorite song -- one that offered hope for redemption. Moon needed help singing so Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan provided guide vocals...and patience.

"Keith was Keith. There was nothing you could do. You couldn't say 'Sing that better'. It was a song he had always wanted to sing, he always wanted to be a Beach Boy. This was a fantasy record for him. And drumming wasn't part of his fantasy ( that was handled by future actor Miguel Ferrer). Drumming was his job so he didn't want to make a record where his job cam einto play.

-Howard Kaylan

The song would appear on Keith Moon's only solo album, Two Side of the Moon. As would "Move Over Mrs L", a cover of the John Lennon song about Yoko that was dropped from Walls and Bridges at the last minute.

40 Year Itch : See You This Summer

[Purchase]

   In June of 1974 endlessly touring  Beach Boys released Endless Summer, a collection of hits pre-dating 1966's Pet Sounds. ("Good Vibrations" was added to the CD version). It would spend an astonishing 155 weeks on the Billboard charts, hitting #1 on October 5th, and revitalizing the band's career.

    While The Beach Boys raced off to play their greatest hits, Brian stayed in bed binge eating, drinking and slipping in and out of a drug induced haze.  In July of 1974, realizing the good times had come roaring back for his band, Dennis Wilson bought a 50 foot sailboat, the fateful  Harmony and made Marina Del Ray his home.

  Initial pressings featured the poster below.

   Endless Summer wasn't the first greatest hits release by the Beach Boys so why did it sell so well? You may not be surprised top learn Mike Love takes the credit:

"They were going to do a Best Of The Beach Boys Volume Three in 19- , whatever the hell it was, and I came in there and went, "Wait a second, call it Endless Summer, instead of being Volume Three" which sounded nauseating to me. Endless Summer has a whole other vibe to it and sold several million copies just with the switch of the title. But then I'm a title guy anyway."

BONUS



The winning music video for "Heroes and Villains" from the Beach Boys SMiLE Sessions - Animation by Robert Capria.

5 Wretched Songs That Ruined Classic Albums

1 "Mind Gardens" from Younger Than Yesterday
David Crosby must have been inspired by The Incredible String Band for this foray into psychedelic folk. Roger McGuinn hated including the song on the poppy Younger Than Yesterday, claiming the tune had no "rhythm, meter, or rhyme." Crosby was fired during the recording of the next album.

2. "Mother" from Synchronicity
Andy Summers' Mother was a bomb dropped right into the heart of The Police's Synchronicity. Small wonder that it was the last album the blond boys did together.

3. Phenomenal Cat from Village Green Preservation Society

  Were The Kinks smoking helium? "Phenomenal Cat" is kitty litter compared to the rest of Village Green Preservation Society, which has become a fan favorite for good reason.



At least it's better than Bowie's equally helium filled "Laughing Gnome"

4. Fitter, Happier from OK Computer
It's the NOT OK tune on OK Computer. Described by Thom Yorke as a checklist of slogans for the 1990s, he considers "Fitter, Happier" "the most upsetting thing I've ever written". Might have been better as liner notes.

5. Student Demonstration Time from Surf's Up
'   The Beach Boys were always better at offering us breakaways from our troubled times than commenting on them. But good old Mike Love had something to say about student protests--even if it meant swiping the Leiber-Stoller song "Riot in Cell Block #9" to do it. The must skip track off Surf's Up was also released as a single as if it say "Look, we can crank up our guitars too!"





What's your choice for wretched songs that nearly ruin great albums?

40 Year Itch : The Dream of Amsterdamee

[Purchase with Carl And The Passions So Tough]

After more than ten years of celebrating Southern California, living in Southern California, recording in Southern California and going crazy in Southern California, The Beach Boys ( even Brian Wilson!) gathered their wives, kids, technicians and hangers on and moved to the Netherlands for an expensive but apparently productive year.

From Creem Magazine

The result is Holland, released January 8, 1973, the band's last studio album for more than three years. You can take the Boys out of California but apparently you can't take California out of the Boys. The centerpiece of Holland is a three song California trilogy highlighted by Al Jardine's cowpokey if not slightly redundant "California Saga: California" which became a Top 40 hit in the UK.

There's much better stuff on Holland. Carl Wilson's "The Trader" shows his terrific contributions on 1971's Surf's Up ("Feel Flows", "Long Promised Road") were no fluke. The highlights both come from Brian Wilson and friends. "Funky Pretty" is the deep cut. Listen closely. Five of the seven band members ( Carl, Mike, Al and the new South African members Blondie Chaplin, Ricky Fataar ) contribute lead vocals as synthesizers swoop and wail in the background. Genius at work!

When the Boys returned from the Netherlands with Holland, Dave Bursyn at Reprise Records rejected the album because he didn't hear a single. It was Bursyn who got Brian Wilson in a room with his Smile collaborator Van Dyke Parks. Together, with a great deal of credit apparently belonging to Parks, they finished an old Wilson song called "Sail On Sailor". Drummer Dennis got the first crack at lead vocals. He did one take and then left the studio to go surfing. Carl tried to sing the song and, while it was a passable effort, he felt Blondie's straight -forward voice best suited the song. Released as a single in 1973 "Sail On Sailor" only managed to reach #79 on the pop charts. In 1975, a re-release of "Sail On Sailor":fared better, reaching #49.

Holland would be followed up in 1973 with a live album. Chaplin and Fataar would leave. The Beach Boys became popular live acts but they wouldn't produce another studio album until the disappointing 15 Big Ones in 1976. To fill in the gaps, record buyers loaded up on those two amazing compilation albums, Endless Summer and Spirit of America.

40 Year Itch: A Mess Of Help

[Purchase]


On May 16. 1972...two days after the release of Carl And The Passions, The Beach Boys (minus Brian Wilson and Bruce Johnson; plus Daryl Dragon, Ricky Fataar and Blondie Chaplin) play their new single "You Need A Mess Of Help To Stand Alone" on the BBC2's Old Whistle Test.

What was Brian up to?

The answer is here .

Top 5 "Wrecking Crew" Tunes

[Buy The Book]

Kent Hartman has pulled back the curtain to reveal the great session musicians who really played on many of our favorite hits. The Wrecking Crew was a group of incredibly talented artists who played on records by The Beach Boys, The Mamas and The Papas, The Monkees, The Grass Roots, Sonny And Cher and Paul Revere and The Raiders.

The Wrecking Crew at a Phil Spector session

Among them: Glen Campbell, Leon Russell, drummer Hal Blaine, and bassist Carol Kaye. In The Wrecking Crew Hartman tells the true stories behind the great songs ( Sonny wrote the lyrics to "I Got You Babe" on a pizza carton) and celebrates the unheralded musicians who taught a generation how to rock and roll.

Carol Kaye ( in 1974)

Kent has been kind enough to send me a list of Top 5 Fave Wrecking Crew Tunes:


"Bridge Over Troubled Water" - Simon & Garfunkel - 1970





The biggest hit of their career and one of the best-selling pop hits of all time. Listen toward the end of the song for the crashing sounds. That's Wrecking Crew drummer Hal Blaine on his hands and knees in the studio slamming tire chains on a cement floor.

"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" - The First Edition - 1968





You may not know it, but that's Kenny Rogers singing the lead vocals. Yes, that Kenny Rogers! And the Wrecking Crew are playing all the instruments. Note Wrecking Crewer Mike Deasy's spacey guitar stylings.

"Mr. Tambourine Man" - The Byrds - 1965





Only one Byrd played on this, the band's first single. It went straight to number one with Roger McGuinn playing his twelve-string Rickenbacker and the Wrecking Crew playing everything else. Four out of five Byrds weren't very happy that day.

"Wichita Lineman" - Glen Campbell - 1968





Most folks don't know it, but the Rhinestone Cowboy actually got his start as an out-of-this world session guitarist in the Wrecking Crew. And when it came time to cut his own singles? You guessed it---Campbell hired all of his pals from the Crew to play right along side him.

"Good Vibrations" - The Beach Boys - 1966





At the risk of bursting a whole lot of balloons, it should be noted that, instrument-wise, there isn't a Beach Boy on this song. Or on virtually any of their other hit records. Once again, it's all the Wrecking Crew.

The New Beach Boys : 40 Years Ago Today

[Buy "So Tough"]

When the Beach Boys took the stage at State University Plaza in Albany on March 16th 1972, you couldn't blame the crowd for looking confused. The Boys had invited two members of the South African band The Flames to join them on tour and record.

Ricky Fataar ( third from the right in the photo above) was there to drum in the place of Dennis Wilson who accidentally injured his hand when he put it through a glass door. Blondie Chaplin (second from the left), replacing Bruce Johnson, joined to add vocal harmonies and play guitar. Back in 1970 they recorded an album for The Beach Boys label Brother Records. You can hear a sample of their Beatlesque tunes here via The Rising Storm.



After a series of warm-up concerts for a Summer tour of Europe, Chaplin and Fataar went into the studio for ten days in April with the rest of The Beach Boys to record Carl And The Passions - "So Tough" which  included some old Flame tunes like "Here She Comes" and "Hold On Dear Brother". The two stuck around for Holland, with Blondie singing lead on the great "Sail On Sailor" and "Funky Pretty". They also played on The Beach Boys In Concert.

Fataar may be best known for playing the George Harrison-ish member of The Rutles, Stig O'Hara. Blondie Chaplin has toured as a backing vocalist and guitarist with The Band and The Rolling Stones.

Six Degrees: Herman's Hermits to The Rutles

1.In 1966 Herman's Hermits recorded "No Milk Today" by songwriter extraordinaire Graham Gouldman.

 2. In 1972 Graham Gouldman formed 10CC with his fellow Strawberry Studio session musicians Eric Stewart, Lol Creme and Kevin Godley.



  3 At about the same time they played on two Neil Sedaka albums including 1973's The Tra-La Days Are Over which featured a song Neil wrote called "Love Will Keep Us Together."

4.For four weeks in 1975 Captain and Tennille's cover of "Love Will Keep Us Together" topped the US charts. (They sang "Sedaka is back" in the fade out)

5. The Captain, Daryl Dragon. got his nickname from Mike Love when Dragon played keyboards with The Beach Boys in the early 70's. ( You can see him above). Dragon contributed the orchestrations on tracks Dennis Wilson wrote for the Beach Boys 1972 album Carl and the Passions - "So Tough".

6. Among the vocalists on that album, Holland and the live album that followed is Ricky Fataar who played the "George Harrison" character, Stig O'Hara, on The Rutles mockumentary All You Need Is Cash.
 Fataar also played on the hilarious and exceptionally catchy soundtrack released in 1978.



P.S. Rutles founder Neil Innes' former band, The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, had a Top 5 UK hit in 1968 with "I'm the Urban Spaceman" which was produced by Apollo C. Vermouth aka Paul McCartney whose 1982 album, Tug of War, was recorded with the help of Eric Stewart, the 10cc band mate of Graham Gouldman.

5 Horrible Songs that Mar Great Albums

1. "Mother" from SynchronicityAndy Summers' Mother was a bomb dropped right into the heart of The Police's Synchronicity. Small wonder that it was the last album the blond boys did together.



2. Mind Gardens for Younger Than YesterdayDavid Crosby must have been inspired by The Incredible String Band for this foray into psychedelic folk. Roger McGuinn hated including the song on the poppy Younger Than Yesterday, claiming the tune had no "rhythm, meter, or rhyme." Crosby was fired during the recording of the next album.



3. Phenomenal Cat from Village Green Preservation SocietyWere The Kinks smoking helium? "Phenomenal Cat" is kitty litter compared to the rest of Village Green Preservation Society, which has become a fan favorite for good reason.
At least it's better than Bowie's equally helium filled "Laughing Gnome"




4. Fitter, Happier from OK Computer
It's the NOT OK tune on OK Computer. Described by Thom Yorke as a checklist of slogans for the 1990s he considers "Fitter, Happier" "the most upsetting thing I've ever written". Might have been better as liner notes.



5. Student Demonstration Time from Surf's UpThe Beach Boys were always better at offering us breakaways from our troubled times than commenting on them. But good old Mike Love had something to say about student protests--even if it meant swiping the Leiber-Stoller song "Riot in Cell Block #9" to do it. The must skip track off Surf's Up was also released as a single as if it say "Look, we can crank up our guitars too!"

What's your choice for wretched songs that nearly ruin great albums?