Monday, March 5, 2018

The Worst Albums of 1978

The death knell of progressive rock, Emerson Lake and Palmer's contractual obligation album Love Beach features "Taste Of My Love", maybe the worst song about groupie sex ever.

Call up Room Service for some peaches and cream, 
I like my dessert first if you know what I mean' 

And in case you don't what Greg Lake  means ( courtesy of Pete Sinfield) he adds

Climb on my rocket And we'll fly

The recording sessions were contentious even though the trio spent the entire time in The Bahamas. If you think the album cover is bad, wait until you drop needle to record. Rolling Stone critic Michael Bloom wrote "Love Beach isn't simply bad; it's downright pathetic. Stale and full of ennui, this album makes washing the dishes seem a more creative act by comparison".

Two million people bought the soundtrack to the god awful 1978 movie, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. While the Aerosmith version of The Beatles' "Come Together" and Earth Wind and Fire's "Got To Get You Into My Life" are fine, everybody else associated with this project lost face, especially Peter Frampton and The Bee Gees. who were on the most stunning of streaks at the time.

Robin Gibb certainly didn't help matters by boasting "There is no such thing as the Beatles now. They don't exist as a band and never performed Sgt Pepper live in any case. When ours comes out, it will be, in effect, as if theirs never existed." 

The bully of The Beach Boys, Mike Love, somehow convinced Brian Wilson and Al Jardine to show up at the Maharishi International University in Fairfield, Iowa,  where they recorded the worst album in Beach Boys history. Dennis Wilson and his brother Carl wanted nothing to do with the record.

 In fact, When asked about M.I.U. Album in the British press, Dennis Wilson said that he "[doesn't] believe in that album" and that it was "an embarrassment to my life. It should self-destruct... I hope that the karma will fuck up Mike Love's meditation forever." Brian Wilson says he doesn't remember making the album, claiming a "mental black out" during the period.

On September 18, 1978 all four members of KISS released solo albums. Drummer Peter Criss, relying on songs from his pre-Kiss band, Lips, fared the worst critically and commercially but still sold a million copies. 

Noted only for the cocaine song, "That's the Kind of Sugar Papa Likes".

With help from the likes of Aerosmith's Joe Perry, Bob Seger, Cheap Trick's Rick Nielsen, Donna Summer and Cher, Gene Simmons' solo album is actually pretty entertaining for a complete cluster fuck, highlighted ( or low-lighted)  by a straight reading of the Disney classic "When You Wish Upon a Star".


  1. The cover of Love Beach really doesn't help it's case.

    And, in defence of Sgt Pepper soundtrack - as a curio, it's definitely "of its time".
    Frankie Howerd leaves no mystery as to why he was never a sought after vocal guest but there is "something" about his reading of When I'm 64, and the over synthesized nature of Mean Mr Mustard

  2. You do realise that, having been blissfully unaware of these various 'abominations' as you describe them, until well into my dotage, I'm now going to have to end an ear to them all just to see if they're as shittily awful as you claim? Thanks for nothing! Ha ha